A serious discussion about the editorial integrity of our TV programme
Posted by Juliet on May 18th, 2006Warning: to anyone who isn’t a pedant when it comes to semantics AND a fan of musicals, reading what follows would probably be tantamount to watching paint dry.
From: Juliet Kinsman
To: Toby Gorman
Subject: Important: getting our facts straight
Excuse this missive, I just wanted to flag up something important about China that’s been playing on my grey matter. As you may recall, quite a few times, references were made to the Cultural Revolution. Apart from the fact, that this is not to be discussed quite as flippantly as with tone that we I fear occasionally we did I’m pretty sure it got accidentally datechecked as starting in 1949. It was, of course, from 1966 that Mister Mao started chucking out the chintz, and other national historical treasures, and this year is the 40-year anniversary of that, let’s be honest, horror.
It would be a wonderful thing if our newly drafted-in editor ensure that no factual inaccuracies or less-than-erudite-references, etc, slip through. I know it has you rolling your eyes when I bang on about pronunciations and malapropisms, but it is important among the lashings of reality TV show style horseplay and tomfoolery, Mr & Mrs Smith is always perceived as having the highest possible editorial integrity.
[Juliet steps off her soap box]
So, as our esteemed producer, my dear Mr Gorman, it is with that sermon, that I hand you the golden Smith house-style sceptre, and entrust you as guardian and protector of these values. Even though I imagine you wouldn’t mind me remarking that you I suspect you might not know a dangling modifier if one bit you on the bottom, as I’m not sure I would either, I would also like to also say that I honestly don’t think we could have a more wonderful team. Would you just ask our editor please please please to keep an extra-astute ear out for any such mistakes?
Yours ever-pedantically and anti-dumbing-downishly, thank you!
Juliet
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Now it is important, dear Blog reader, that you bear in mind, that much to the horror of our fellow crew, a few days before the end of our trip Toby and I discovered a shared love, dare I call it, hidden talent, of being able to sing about any subject at the drop of a hat (in a Fosse, style, obv) in a musical/operetta style. Toby, I also found out, went to stage school, which earned him MUCH teasing from me.
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From:Toby Gorman
To: Juliet Kinsman
Subject: Important: getting our SONGS straight
[In building stage whisper]
Facts…facts…facts..facts…
“Behold the sceptre of facts!”
Facts…facts…facts..facts…
But wait! Is this sceptre going to work with my new Prada shoes from Shanghai?
Fear not, Ms Kinsman, your concerns are noted and will be passed onto the edit producer accordingly.
I will also be monitoring such things to ensure we don’t look like bafoons.
TG
p.s. “Facts…facts…facts..facts…!” [to fade]
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From: Juliet Kinsman
To: Toby Gorman
Subject: You know I couldn’t let that little irony slip by without comment….
“I will also be monitoring such things to ensure we don’t look like bafoons.”
nb spelling.
buf·foon n.
1 A clown; a jester: a court buffoon.
2 A person given to clowning and joking.
3 A ludicrous or bumbling person; a fool.
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From:Toby Gorman
To: Juliet Kinsman
Damn.
[drum roll]
“buffoons… buffoons… buffoons… buffoons…”
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From: Juliet Kinsman
To: Toby Gorman
Subject: You have…
…just made me laugh like a wailing banshee
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From: Toby Gorman
To: Juliet Kinsman
Subject: Re: You have…
“She wails like a Banshee”
“A what?”
“A banshee..”
“But where?
“A banshee..”
“But how?”
“A banshee..”
“But who?”
“A banshee… A banshee… A banshee…”
[building to a crescendo]
“A Bansheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! A BANSHEE!”
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From: Juliet Kinsman
To: Toby Gorman
Subject: Re: I’m now…
… literally hysterical, bent over clutching stomach laughing in the style of someone in the hammiest panto production in history.
No more. I have copy to edit…
“TO-O-O-O-OOO EDI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-IT” [cue: BASE DRUM]
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