You’re in Italy. You’re armed with an insider guide (ours, hopefully). You know *all* the best places to go. So why are your attempts to order an afternoon coffee on a sunlit Roman piazza ridiculed? Why does requesting parmesan for your spaghetti alle vongole earn you instant presentation of the bill? And why, at the next ristorante, do you wait 45 minutes to settle up?

There are obvious answers (your pronunciation; cheesy clams are revolting; you didn’t ask) but, to pass yourself off as a seasoned Italy buff, you’re going to need more help. Which is why we’ve handed this post over to guest blogger Karen Cleveland (right) – doyenne of decorum, Huffington Post etiquette expert and Finishing School columnist – to unravel the intricacies of Italian customs…

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Ah, the dolce vita. A warm welcome might have visitors to Italy feeling the love – and feel the love they should – but don’t let the convivial be mistaken for the blasé. Social codes run deep in Italian culture and are decidedly Italian. Non-smoking signs are brazenly ignored, men of any orientation stroll arm in arm, and caffeinated drinks are ordered on a militant schedule. A few insights into the nuances can increase one’s stock with the locals, and also help you fare bella figura – make a good impression.

MANGIA! MANGIA!

• While meals served family-style cry out for sharing, a dish intended for one diner rarely is rarely shared. Italians are serious about their food – fair play, it is fabulous – so you won’t see much sampling from co-diner’s plates.
• Adding parmesan cheese to a seafood dish is grounds for judgement, if not a gesture towards the exit, from your server.
• Do not assume that your empty plates signal that you are ready for the bill. Unless explicitly asked for (‘Il conto, per favore’), you will not get your cheque: no server wants their guests to feel rushed.
• Italian coffee is taken as seriously as Italian food: typically, milky cappuccinos and lattes are preferred in the morning and espressos after lunch or dinner. Ordering a cappuccino at 4pm is not verboten, it just means that you’ll likely get a free smirk along with your beverage.

OUT AND ABOUT

• Lines and queuing are nice ideas rather than actual things in Italy. Do not be alarmed by crowds that move en masse. Chin up. Make your way to the front along with the group and if you smile and speak up, you will get served. (Eventually.)
• Italians adore and respect their elderly – rightly so. Always defer to the most senior person in a situation, whether that means offering up your seat or inviting them to order first at the table.
• Be respectful when visiting Italy’s gorgeous churches. Not only should shoulders be covered and phones tucked away on silent, but you should also not chew gum or even drink from your water bottle while inside.
• ‘Ciao‘ is too colloquial for strangers and is reserved for close family and friends. Instead, opt for a more formal good day (‘buongiorno’) or good evening (‘buonasera’) for greetings and goodbyes.

ITALIAN GESTURES

• Both hands together with index fingers pointed to the ground means you’re planning something a bit naughty. Master this one.
• Hands in prayer with a sincere, calculated shake is rooted in an appeal to the Mother of God. It signals exasperation: ‘Oh, come ON!’
• Flicking the fingers forward from under the chin is a solid, ‘I don’t give a damn’. Use it sparingly, but with conviction.
• The Italian gesture for ‘perfect’ is identical to how Europeans and North Americans (and divers) signal OK. Italians often add a horizontal swipe for extra emphasis, or double up with both hands, as though twisting the ends of an invisible moustache – perfetto!

Based in Toronto, Canada, Karen Cleveland tackles all things etiquette, from the traditional to the taboo. She has contributed to, and been featured by, media outlets that she likes so much, she blushes. Follow her on Twitter or drop by for a visit.

Find more How to… guides and cultural edification in our latest Italy guidebook, out now.

Style Mill with a gloss
Setting Serene on the Nene

Why this week? To celebrate its new menu, the hotel has a host of foodie events and extras in the planning, including Saturday afternoon barbecues and half-price food on Thursdays (in July and August). There’s also a boutique hotel offer for Smith members: 50% off on two-night stays from now until October.

Our favourite bits We love the waterside setting, the hotel’s clever chef, the fact that the mill has more than 300 birthdays to its name but only two bedrooms (though we’re keen to see the 19 new rooms currently in the works). At the moment, Lucom is our favourite. This split-level timber-framed cabin on the rooftop that juts out over the front of the mill is definitely not one for vertigo sufferers. The bed seems to hover above a rich red carpet, original beams criss-cross the ceiling and delightful downstream views.

Mr & Mrs Smith say…  ‘There’s been a flour mill here on the banks of the River Nene, next to the Upper Barnwell Lock, since Saxon times, with the current limestone-built building dating back to the 17th century. Oundle Mill has been a restaurant since the Sixties, reopening under new ownership in August 2008 after a three-year refurb. For such a tall building it is slightly surprising to discover that this hip hotel has only two bedrooms: now that is boutique. The first two floors are given over to dining and an open kitchen, so it’s more restaurant with rooms than traditional guesthouse. Both bedrooms are on the top floor, the biggest of which, the Mill room, has double-storey beamed ceilings, huge velvet bed base and a double-ended Castello stone bath bedside under its eaves. We are staying in the much smaller Lucom room, but what it lacks in size it makes up for in character.

‘A small timber cabin jutting out from the top of the stone building, with tiny casement windows on three sides is in fact our boudoir. The original mill pulleys still hang over the under-lit bed, which itself seems suspended over a deep red carpet.’ Read the full Oundle Mill review…

You say… ‘We had such a lovely weekend at Oundle Mill and really enjoyed Oundle itself. There is a lovely bookshop, the most fantastic kitchen shop (well and truly crammed with fab stuff), and the jewel is a lingerie shop called Eve in a little parade of shops in an old chapel. The owner is very helpful and they had a pretty selection of stuff in many sizes.’ Kate, BlackSmith, stayed on 18 Feb 2011

Find more Guestbook reviews of Oundle Mill, or search for other hotel offers…

Crème de la Mer has become a beauty icon: editors rave about the skin-plumping, glow-enhancing properties of the original Moisturizing Cream, even coining the phrase ‘Crème de la Mer skin’ to describe a flawless complexion. So legendary is its efficacy, staff at certain glossy magazines have even been known to remove their heels to sprint for review samples.

Luckily, Smith members won’t have to resort to such unseemly tactics, because we have teamed up to bring you an exclusive Crème de la Mer offer. In the spirit of sharing, we persuaded globe-hopping UK brand manager Taj Giles (above) to reveal her insider travel and beauty secrets…

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What’s the secret of your success, Taj?
Since its launch in the UK, Crème de la Mer has developed a hugely loyal following. The Moisturizing Cream remains a favourite amongst our clients today. Why? Quite simply – it works!

Your job involves a lot of travelling; favourite trip?
I’ve been very lucky to visit a number of incredible places with Crème de la Mer, but one that particularly stands out is La Réserve Ramatuelle in the south of France. La Réserve Ramatuelle offers exclusive Crème de la Mer treatments in their beautiful spa, and we are always looking for ways to enhance our spa experience in Urban Retreat at Harrods. The hotel was one of the most tranquil and luxurious places I have experienced – a very inspiring stay!

Mr & Mrs Smith endured a dreadful hotel stay before writing their guide; Elizabeth Arden created Eight Hour Cream to soothe her favourite thoroughbreds’ throbbing tendons; and Coco Chanel designed her first tweed suit after visiting her lover’s Scottish fabric factory. We love passion brands (like ours) that start with a great story. Tell us yours…
The story of Crème de la Mer and the Miracle Broth is one of hope and perseverance: half a century ago, aerospace physicist Dr Max Huber suffered burns in a laboratory accident and began a personal quest to transform the look of his skin. He believed the sea was a miraculous resource and turned his attention in particular to sea kelp. Dr Huber hand-harvested kelp and fermented it gently with the simplest and purest ingredients; 12 years and 6,000 experiments later, he perfected the nutrient-rich Miracle Broth – the source of Crème de la Mer’s transformative properties.

We want to know all your secret beauty weapons…
Being a mum with two children, I have quite a busy work/life schedule, so products to keep me feeling refreshed and hydrated are good to have to hand. The Crème de la Mer Lip Balm is always in my bag, as well as The Mist – a great revitaliser after travelling. I also love Tom Ford lipsticks: the shades are so vibrant and perfect for quickly adding a splash of colour.

First thing you do when you’ve checked into a hotel?
When I arrive at a hotel, I tend to get things in order first!  I like to lay out all my toiletries in the bathroom ready for the morning – it makes me feel a little more organised knowing I can just get up and go, and not have to rummage through my suitcase.

What’s your favourite place to stay, and what makes it so great?
Lime Wood hotel in the New Forest is one of my favourites. The surroundings are just stunning, the food delicious, and the spa is incredible. There is a really welcoming feel about the hotel – it epitomises understated luxury.

Share some secrets from your international travel address book with us
Last year, we visited Capri (right) and had lunch at a gorgeous seaside restaurant called Il Riccio. The dining room is on the cliffside, so you eat overlooking the bay. Leave room for pudding: they have a whole room dedicated to desserts to choose from! One of the best restaurants I’ve been to is Sevva in Hong Kong (below right). As well as the food, the panoramic view from the terrace makes this restaurant especially memorable. I grew up in LA so when I go back I always head to the beach, and stop by Fred Segal for shopping and lunch.

Where’s the most romantic place you’ve ever been?
Hiking through waterfalls on my honeymoon in Kauai is one of my most romantic memories.

Where’s next on your holiday wish-list?
Sri Lanka and Seychelles are definitely next on my list! Being half Sri Lankan, I feel it’s important to share my heritage with my family. Any travel tips Mr & Mrs Smith?!

Find out more about Mr & Mrs Smith’s Crème de la Mer member offer; or get some travel inspiration of your own…

Then we headed to the Caribbean, where we took our cue from James Bond and went sunning in style at Goldeneye hotel in Jamaica. In New York, we found the glamorous side of Gotham at the new Nomad Hotel and hung out at the very hip Hôtel Americano.

In Thailand, we hovered above the city in the haven of the Hansar Bangkok hotel and escaped the crowds at Wanakarn Beach Resort hotel in Phang Nga.

Down under, we pearl-shopped and beach-hopped at Pinctada Cable Beach hotel in coastal-cool Broome, and indulged in a gourmet getaway at Harvest Farm hotel in the Yarra Valley.

Check back in June for new Smith hotels in India, Fiji, Malaysia, India, Italy, the UK, the US and France.

Style Tuscan hunting lodge
Setting Sublime solitude

Why this week? Smith members can save with our L’Andana Hotel offer: extend your Tuscany break with three nights for the price of two. And, classic car fans will want to be in residence on May 17 when the Mille Miglia races through town: you can even register to take part in the historic rally yourself.

Our favourite bits If you’re inspired by the traditional Tuscan tastes served up in the restaurant, why not take a cookery class with the hotel’s chef? And if that’s too much like hard work, the spa has a hammam, black-slate hot bath and stylish indoor pool, and the the outdoor pool and Jacuzzi overlook the palatial gardens.

Mr & Mrs Smith say: ‘This hotel in the coastal Tuscan region of Maremma is a former hunting lodge of a duke, and pardon the brochure-style speak, but it really is set among some noteworthy olive- and vine-studded rolling hills. Clearly the nobleman wanted seclusion and privacy and had chosen this spot wisely; the chirping of the cicadas and the occasional hoot of a wood pigeon were the only interruptions to the peace. After such a spectacular landscape, we found the hotel’s neutral tones and understated luxury to be the perfect blank canvas to continue our ease into relaxation mode. L’Andana itself was equally hushed and here the greatest distraction in the bright, conservatory-like reception was from butterflies that floated in from the lavender beds. ’

Read the rest of the anonymous Smith review of L’Andana Hotel in Tuscany, written by Mr & Mrs Smith

You say: ‘The feeling you get when you enter the long tree-lined drive to the hotel is just a fragment of the sense of pure delight when you actually enter the hotel reception. L’Andana is absolutely perfect and the most superb hideaway from the troublesome world. My girlfriend and I were transported into a world of chic opulence served by charming hosts. The hotel pool is a wonderful place to relax but you must try the spa treatments where you are pampered into sublime serenity (sorry to use so many superlatives but the hotel and its experience warrant them!)’

Tim, GoldSmith, stayed on 30 July 2009

Read more entries in L’Andana Hotel’s guestbook.

We’re not the only ones in Grant’s fan club: the chef has just been named one of Food & Wine magazine’s Best New Chefs. We stole a few minutes with him to learn more about his globe-trotting, go-to spring ingredients, and cravings from the hotel minibar.

How would you describe RIA’s style of cooking?
The cooking incorporates classic French fundamentals, but it’s much more playful. What we do is concentrate on highlighting specific ingredients on a high level. We’ll often pick three ingredients: one primary, with two background notes. And the goal is to really let them speak.

It sounds like a dating show. Will you share an example?
One that we just got on the menu showcases flavours of foie gras, English pea, orange, radishes and pumpernickel. So often with foie, you see a rich liver preparation with something sweet and something crunchy. In this dish, peas are more of a focus. You could say it’s pea mousse with radish salad. We cure and poach the foie gras, remove all the fat, then we almost puree it. Finally, we roll it in candied orange powder. These are simple flavours that everyone recognizes, but we present them in a beautiful way. It’s also very colourful, with red radishes, bright green peas and the orange on the outside of the foie gras.

What’s your favourite spring ingredient? 
That’s tough. It depends what day of the week you ask. I think asparagus. You get beautiful asparagus at this time of year. And the garlics are exciting in spring. [Garlic] scapes are good, and green garlic is such a versatile stage in garlic’s life. But there are also all the little fresh green things: English peas and favas. And, of course, morels.

What would you tell diners to expect at RIA?
They should expect to feel satisfied, incredible comfortable and relaxed. A goal is to make people feel like they’re in their own home. They’re not in a fancy restaurant. They should expect to have good ingredients used in food that is executed at a high calibre with a lot of precision. But they’ll also laugh and maybe hear their server singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ It’s nothing pretentious by any means.

Where was your last vacation?
My last trip was to Paris. We close the restaurant for two weeks in January, so I went to Paris. That trip was purely eating at as many three-starred Michelin restaurants as we could in four days. I do two kinds of vacations. The first is when I travel for different kinds of food. On the other trips, I try to forget about everything. I’ll do a summer beach trip or a winter escape into the mountains. But I don’t travel as much as I’d like.

What’s your minibar craving?
That’s a dangerous question. Typically, whiskey and bourbon hold a special place for me in the minibar. And I eat the granola bars. But I guess my go-to is bourbon on the first day, then water the next day.

Try Danny’s spectacular dishes for yourself at Ria in the Waldorf Astoria Chicago (+1 312 880 4400).

Photos courtesy of Neil Burger.

With autumn kicking in down under, our top tip for a warm-weather staycation is Australia’s aptly named Sunshine State. Here, we bring you our pick of the best Queensland holiday houses…

BEST FOR COASTAL COOL

Alinghi, Great Barrier Reef
Stay A contemporary cedar, glass and steel eco-eyrie set in 14 acres of bushland, this architect’s beach pad clings to the cliffs of Queensland’s Capricorn Coast. Sleeping up to 14 in five bedrooms, it includes a serene master suite separated from the main pavilion by a dramatic travertine terrace. Although the sleek living and dining spaces are sure to wow, it’s the sea views that are the star here.

Play Swoon-worthy Honeymoon Bay and Springs Beach are just a hop from the house, with marked trails for discovering deserted coves. The estate also boasts a barbecue, tennis court and lounger-flanked, 25-metre saltwater pool. Pack your yoga kit for sun salutations on the sea-facing terrace, and use the handy telescope to spy passing whales from mid-July to November. Swimming, snorkelling and diving also beckon, as you’re on the southern tip of the Great Barrier Reef.

Getting there Fly in to Bundaberg Airport, an hour’s flight north of Brisbane; from there Alinghi is a two-hour drive north, near Agnes Water.

BEST FOR A RAINFOREST RETREAT

Bali Hai, Port Douglas
Stay Sleeping up to 10 in three airy Balinese-style bedroom huts and a spacious main dwelling, this tropical retreat epitomises stylish self-catering. Perfect for families or friends who fancy getting away from it all, Bali Hai teams rustic thatched roofs and cooling stone floors with Indonesian antiques. The knockout dining room opens up on three sides to reveal the inviting pool and mountain backdrop, and there’s catering on tap if you’re not in the mood to cook.

Play Spa treatments, yoga and day trips can be arranged, or just chill out and enjoy the vast lawns, bordered by a stream and orchards. Beyond your fab fiefdom, explore the rainforest-rich Daintree National Park or hit the beach at Port Douglas.

Getting there Touch down at Cairns – from there it’s a spectacular one-and-a-half-hour coastal drive north to Bali Hai, near Mossman, just beyond Port Douglas.

BEST FOR A HINTERLAND HIDEAWAY

Glass on Glasshouse, Sunshine Coast
Stay Bauhaus goes bush at this tranquil cluster of three cottages (each sleeping two), nestled in the jaw-dropping Glass House Mountains, inland from Queensland’s Sunshine Coast. Floor-to-ceiling windows capture views of extinct volcanos, groves of macadamia and mango trees, and inquisitive kangaroos. Indoors, despite the minimal style, king-size beds, seductive double spa-baths and toasty fireplaces keep things cosy.

Play Nature lovers, stargazers and couples seeking a country escape will like this laid-back rural scene. Wander the walking trails in the mountains, with scenic look-outs for view-blessed picnics. Stock up on tasty local produce at the farmers’ markets at Caloundra and Eumundi, or in the charming hinterland towns of Montville and Maleny. Beach fiends can sample the seductive sands of the Sunshine Coast (try Mooloolaba, Caloundra or Maroochydore), with stylish wining and dining at Noosa, further north.

Getting there From Brisbane Airport, it’s a 50-minute drive north to Glass on Glasshouse; Sunshine Coast Airport, at Maroochydore, also services domestic flights.

For more holiday-house inspiration, browse our global collection of stylish self-catering stays.

We’re stretched out on a sunlounger, soaking up some rays. We’ve got ice-cold cocktails to our right and the whispering sea to our left. We’re happy, we’re relaxed, we’re dreaming about Cypriot feasts and big round beds, and we wake up… in Smith HQ, at our computers. Never mind eh? Our hotel of the week, Londa, is the beach boutique we lust for…

Style Subtle, soothing and smart
Setting Medside Limassol

Why this week? The weather in Cyprus is already pretty peachy and looks set to continue until late in the year (good for canny Smiths avoiding stays during the summer holidays). There’s a Londa hotel offer to take advantage of – if you’re a Smith member: 25 per cent off five-night stays with the Londa Lifestyle package. This indulgent deal includes welcome cocktails, a champagne breakfast, a candlelit dinner, a 55-minute massage each and other perks.

Our favourite bits? We love the infinity pool overlooking the sea, the restaurant’s traditional Mediterranean recipes, the Caprice Bar’s cocktails and DJ (expect jazz nights and other events in summer) and the Honeymoon Suite, whose charms include a huge round bed, a Jacuzzi, a living room and balcony.

Mr & Mrs Smith say ’Having parked under the towering palms flanking the driveway, we ascended the fragrant steps lined with geometrically manicured herb beds and were blasted with a ravishing view of the ground floor of the Londa. Clean lines and glass walls lead the eye through the stylish bar to the mirror-smooth ultramarine sea beyond. Breathtakingly Zen…’

Read the rest of the review of Londa hotel, written by Louiza Patikas.

You say ’Great place; must make sure that you check out the good Cypriot wines in the bar… However, as is the way of the world, make sure that you get up early to bag a sun lounger (7am worked for us).’

Richard, GoldSmith, stayed on 2 Oct 2008

There’s nothing cookie-cutter about travel in Australia, with city breaks, coastal escapes and outback adventures all jostling for a place on your holiday itinerary. To help separate the wheat from the chaff, the Gourmet Traveller Awards seeks out and celebrates the best hotels and destinations down under, from soothing spa retreats to life-changing Outback adventures – such as the one offered at luxe safari experience Longitude 131° by Voyages, pictured above.

Mr & Mrs Smith is on this year’s judging panel, but we’re keen to hear from you, too. Does Dan Hunter’s 10-course feast at the Royal Mail Hotel pip Alla Wolf-Tasker’s mod European fare at Lake House or Hugh Whitehouse’s tasting menu at Saffire in Freycinet Peninsula (right) as the ultimate foodie getaway? Is Kangaroo Island’s Southern Ocean Lodge or Qualia in the Great Barrier Reef your favourite luxury hideaway?

By voting in the awards, you’ll be entering into the draw to win a fantastic trip for two to Shanghai from Sydney, including five nights’ accommodation at Smith stay The Puli Hotel and Spa, a serene retreat in one of the world’s most exciting cities.

So get clicking and make sure your favourite travel experience gets the attention it deserves – entries close 6 May 2012.

Style Modernised manor house
Setting Rolling Cotswolds countryside

Why this week? From May 3 to September 30, guests will be able to peruse the eight sculptures that are in the running to win the Coutts Cowley Manor Arts Award. Each one has been created by a post-graduate student at the Royal College of Art, and the winning work will become a permanent resident in the manor’s 55-acre grounds. And, you’ll save 15% with our Cowley Manor offer… why not spend your savings on indulgent massages in the stylish spa?

Our favourite bits With cowhide window seats and comical papier-mâché ‘hunting trophies’ hanging from the walls, there’s plenty of cheeky charm on display throughout this otherwise stately country seat.

Mr & Mrs Smith say: ‘The staff are unpretentious; the food is good – the chef wisely serves traditional dishes alongside more contemporary cuisine; and the decor has to be seen to be believed. The most enjoyable moment of our stay was the simple pleasure of sitting out on the terrace with a glass of viognier, just taking in our surroundings. Papier-mâché baboons are fun, lime-green armchairs are eye-catching, but I am just as impressed by what a privilege it is to be one of only a handful of people sharing this majestic property in such a beautiful landscape.’

Read the rest of the anonymous Smith review of Cowley Manor in the Cotswolds, written by Raymond Blanc

You say: ‘I can’t give a more glowing report of Cowley Manor and all they have to offer. We stayed for two nights in a three-floor townhouse, which was decked out in true ’boutique chic’ style. A relaxing soak in the enormous tub with Green & Spring bath oils was a real treat, but that had nothing on the private picnic in the grounds. Get yourself down to Cowley Manor for a luxuriously comfortable spa break in the Cotswolds.’

Kate, BlackSmith, stayed on 12 July 2011

Read more entries in Cowley Manor’s guestbook.