Style Art house opulence
Setting Serene secret garden

Why this week? All you need is a couple of days’ annual leave, a mere 390 euro, and a penchant for autumnal Montmartre. Falling leaves, fairy lights and a bohemian air await in this eternally elegant district brimming with art and soul. The creative vibe is reflected at Hotel Particulier, too. One room wallpapered to resemble a Technicolor forest canopy, another ornamented with saucily suggestive blown-glass; yet another featuring hats for lampshades and a transparent glass wall into the marble bathroom – every nook of Hotel Particulier Montmartre contains a gorgeous visual surprise.

Mr & Mrs Smith say ‘Housed in a hidden garden on the Montmartre Hillside, between prestigious avenue Junot and lively rue Lepic, L’Hotel Particulier is an unexpected bubble of tranquillity in one of Paris’ most thrill-a-minute districts. The owners have recruited five contemporary artists to imbue each suite with their signature styles. We are especially enamoured with illustrator Pierre Fichefeux’s ‘Tree with Ears’ – partly for the name, admittedly, and partly for the one-of-a-kind abstract wallpaper and the Dali-influenced opulence of the fittings. A very special stay indeed’.

Raymond Blanc’s elegant Oxfordshire outpost is the gastronomic capital of the A40, and at this country manor, you only need to be good at one thing – eating. But first, you need to make things to eat. So, with fine ingredients picked from the resident herb and vegetable garden, and master chefs on hand to show you their tricks, let Raymond’s team lead the way to dazzling dinner parties and smooth-running feasts.

Right up until the end of the year, the Cookery School will be running one-day courses to enlighten attendants with the secrets of happy hosting. As well as your tutoring, you’ll get morning and afternoon tea and a light lunch in the school. And if you book together, you can save £100 (£520 a couple).

The courses coming up are on the following dates: 27 and 29 November, and 2, 3, 6, 7, 8, 9, 17 and 18 December. Call +44 (0)1844 278881 to book.

Jelly. A curious entity – reminiscent of school days, lumpy custard and Seventies trifles. Many would agree it’s an unlikely object of passion. Not Bompas & Parr, the oddballs behind the Horseless Carriage of Curiosities, Flavour Tripping and the breathable cocktail. Their slippery creations include wobbly wedding cake-alternatives for adventurous brides, alcoholic stars for Courvoisier, and squidgy buildings for a charitable Architectural Jelly Banquet. And let’s not forget their glow-in-the-dark, sherry flavoured Funeral Jellies, exhibited at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art and accompanied by a jelly funeral march (see right). How better to add a note of solemnity to a grave (pardon the pun) affair?

Having peddled their powdered pectin and water-based confections to the masses, Bompas & Parr are dabbling in the art of cocktail making. Never ones to play by the rules, the duo are planning a cocktail construction as big as a building – a punch bowl so vast, punters will be able to row a boat across it. The event is inspired by a 17th-century sea soak, Admiral Edward Russell, who, in the year 1694, created a punchbowl so large it took 2,500 lemons to make, and was dished up by a small boy in a boat.

The particular poison to fill Bompas & Parr’s drinkable installation is still under discussion. Mixologists have submitted their entries, and the winning whimsy will be decided by a panel of judges, expert in all things liquid, edible and architectural. The shortlisted concoctions include a candyfloss, chai, orange blossom and Courvoisier blend; Red October – inspired by the 1917 Russian Revolution; and La Charante au Petit Matin, which judge Ruth Reed likened to ‘Breakfast in bed: tea, toast and marmalade.’

The winning entry will be announced on 1 December, at the Architectural Punch Bowl, 33 Portland Place. See the crazy sight for yourself (and taste the tipple too, of course) from the 8-10 December. Smith can’t wait. Tickets cost £6.50, available from www.jellymongers.co.uk, with proceeds going to the environmental charity Article 25.

All this creativity has got us thinking about some of our favourite hotels, the ones with more than a hint of the kooky about them. If we had the job of putting the likes of Bompas & Parr up for the night, we’d suggest they bed down in the following…

Winvian, Litchfield Hills
Style Idiosyncratic rural retreat
Setting Wild woodland, perfect pastures
This 113-acre boutique resort in Connecticut comprises 18 kooky cottages that surround an antique-filled, colonial-style farmhouse. Each cottage has its own individual design scheme – from fairytale Woodlands to lighthouse-like Maritime. As all are individually designed, your favourite will no doubt come down to personal taste. We loved ‘Helicopter’, based on a Connecticut Coastguard chopper, which is unbelievably bold and outrageous. The ‘Charter Oak’ cottage has an oak tree growing up through the middle of it.

New Majestic Hotel, Singapore
Style Bold boutique design doyen
Setting Chinatown’s sleepy shophouse streets
There’s something pleasantly unusual about glancing up to see someone swimming over your head while you’re at dinner. In fact, there’s something pleasantly unusual about most aspects of the New Majestic Hotel. Idiosyncratic in the extreme, it features rooms designed by the city’s biggest creative names, eccentric artworks in every nook, and a vast collection of vintage chairs in the gleaming terrazzo lobby.

Rough Luxe, London
Style Art-inspired shabby-chic
Setting Crux of King’s Cross
There’s, quite simply, no place like Rough Luxe. This is the antithesis of a conventional luxury hotel: an unprepossessing Georgian building in King’s Cross where cracked, peeling paintwork and shreds of faded wallpaper sit alongside attention-grabbing artworks both ancient and modern and weathered retro areas give way to sumptuous designer comforts. From the moment you step inside, you’re really not in Kansas anymore. (BYO jelly.)

Style: Silver belle
Setting: Airfields of Farnborough

Why this week? Until the end of the year, you can stay Friday and Saturday and get Sunday night free. Members will still get their Smithcard offer, so they can toast their free night with some free champagne and spend their skyward-bound stay indulging in heaven-sent chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Our favourite bits We love the hotel’s glory days of flight theme and its cool, clean lines. Tactile textures, luxurious furnishings and opulent decor combine to create a sensuously smooth stopover. The hotel restaurant is a far cry from your typical plane food, too. Sip cocktails and sample locally sourced fare while glamorously perched on the leather banquettes. And don’t be fooled by the hotel’s sleekness – it belies its rural setting. Farnborough itself mightn’t be the most thrill-a-minute spot in Hampshire, but bundle into a car and amble off to the villages, castles and stately homes of the Home Counties countryside.

Mr and Mrs Smith say “It’s hard to avoid dipping into aeronautics when talking about the Aviator; this hotel lives for the skies. Situated bang beside the runway of Farnborough’s private airport, shaped like a colossal jet propeller, and dotted with arty aero-biz paraphernalia, it couldn’t emphasise its love of flight more if it served food in plastic trays and stowed life jackets under the seats.

The Aviator has a staggering 169 rooms, which makes me wonder how we can call it ’boutique’, but I very quickly realise that despite its capacity, the hotel is cleverly designed to preserve the illusion of intimacy - like that first, rejected Tardis model, it feels smaller on the inside. And the room itself doesn’t seem like a suite for a suit. Sure, it’s got all the desk space and free WiFi the average CEO could possibly need, but these sleek woodsy interiors, abundant mirrors, cosy armchairs, and the knock-out view of the airfield dotted with lights at dusk are crying out for appreciative couples. Mrs Smith is enraptured by the little planes taking off and touching down (quietly) right outside the window but I, being a true Mr Smith, I make straight for the flatscreen and scroll through the niftily integrated movie and CD library - it’s like having a branch of Blockbusters and a very trendy jukebox trapped in your TV…”

Read full review here

Compiled by Hannah Thompson

The scene of this culinary revelation was a Normandy food-focused press event, appropriately entitled Taste of Normandy - an excuse for greed and debauchery if there ever was one. Kate and I flew the Smith flag, turning up at Sway bar in Holborn with empty bellies and business cards aplenty. In order to educate the crowd of media types that showed up, the organisers had shipped in some real live Normandy food pros, including fishmongers, bakers and barmen, with Alan Coxon as the evening’s amiable host.

From my notes, I calculate that in the several hours we spent there, we worked our way through more than 17 delectable dishes, including: oysters (four varieties, including wild and rock), king prawns, king crab, sea urchins, freshly churned butter, nettle soup, foie gras with apple chutney, mushroom mousse, goat’s cheese wrapped in tomato and topped with black mushrooms, creamed parsnip with white carrot and cumin, sea bass with butter and lemon, tomato mousse with cream, lobster in crab jelly, terrine de coquilles St. Jacques and caramel and pistachio macaroons. These treats were washed down with Calvados- and Cointreau-loaded cocktails, and warming glugs of pommeau, a sweet and moreish apple brandy.

Learnings from our gobblings include the following:
a) NEVER eat sea urchins - the ones we tasted were like rotten cabbage boiled in ditch water.
b) French men wielding plates of goodies are dangerously irresistible and utterly seductive, especially when they utter phrases such as ‘It’s good to be curious’ while offering up their (edible) wares.
c) Normandy is all about the nettles. We sampled freshly fried sweet nettle fritters, nettle gazpacho with a sprinkling of nasturtiums, and borage butter slathered on hunks of bread. Not only are nettles tasty (much more mild and creamy than you’d expect), they also pack an iron-rich punch.

So, as if you needed any more reason to visit picturesque Normandy, there you have it - the amazing and surprising food, and the knowledgeable and creative people who produce it. And after indulging in little almond cakes stuffed with juicy cherries, rounds of creamy cheese and heaped plates of succulent seafood, you’ll need a big bed with a strong, firm mattress. It gives us pleasure to point you in the direction of two more-than-capable establishments: Château de Saint Paterne, a chic, stately retreat in the lush lands of the Loire, or La Petite Folie, a grand and gregarious guesthouse in historic Honfleur. Just watch out for those sea urchins - those spikes are there for a reason.

Style: Streamlined chrome cool
Setting: Oh, Vienna

Why this week? Austria’s opulence seduces with every passing season but this time of year is especially spectacular, because Christmas and all its charms come knocking – and a trip to one of Vienna’s many chocolate-box Christmas markets will have you full of seasonal good will in no time. From the last week of November to Christmas Eve, Vienna breaks into a flurry of festive folly. See the Rathaus (Town Hall) lit up and surrounded by an array of activities certain to enchant the little Smiths, and visit Schönbrunn Palace market to sample more mulled wine, spiced gingerbread and creative crafts than you can shake a stocking at. And if that doesn’t tempt you, combine culture and thrift with Mr and Mrs Smith’s November offer of 3 nights at Levante Parliament hotel for the price of 2. What’s more, Smiths in the USA can win a three-night stay at this hotel plus flights from New York or Los Angeles with Discover Austria.

Our favourite bits The hotel gets its name from the proximity of the Parliament building, but it’s a far cry from the velvet-upholstered fustiness its name might suggest. Romania-born designer Ioan Nemtoi has given the place high-octane impact. Entirely crafted of glass, the Nemtoi bar is a fitting sleek hors d’oeuvre for the restaurant, which features a menu of international delicacies. Delicately spiralling glass tendril screens keep your dining experience private.

Mr and Mrs Smith say ‘The Levante Parliament in Vienna’s Auerspergstrasse is a refreshing design hotel, housed in a building that dates back to 1908. Its lobby and entrance hall are deliberately laid out and lit as a gallery space. Along with the ubiquitous glass sculptures throughout the hotel, there are works by the celebrated Viennese photographer Curt Themessl. All artworks are for sale but, sadly, out of this pair’s price range. The reddish tinges of Nemtoi’s creations add a glow to the hotel’s 74 rooms and suites, which feature furniture of a dark, dense tropical wood from Africa known as wengé. The rooms are warm, welcoming and comfortable, with eiderdowned beds whose wide borders of coral orange add a glow to the soothing combination of browns and beiges in the fitted carpet and drapes. While my lady was luxuriating in the waterfall shower surrounded by highly polished cream Italian marble and a comprehensive stock of designer supplies, I had the opportunity to explore the treasures and pleasures of the minibar’s exotic blends and vintages and to try out the free high-speed Internet. The latter was a handy way to fill in certain gaps in my knowledge of glass sculpture…’

Read full review here

Compiled by Hannah Thompson

Mr & Mrs Smith Hotel Collection: Australia/New Zealand is out 25 November (£19.95), but you can order an advance copy now.

The rollcall of reviewers includes

Actors… Sigrid Thornton Artists… Helen Bodycomb Chefs… Christine Manfield, Andrew McConnell Designers… Andrew Chiodo, Liane Rossler Editors… Kirstie Clements (Vogue Australia), Angus Fontaine (Time Out, below right), Paul McNally Entrepreneurs… John Carruthers (New venture CEO) Event organisers… David Grant, Olivia Serritelli Foodies… Simon Thomsen Forensic psychologists… Rosemary Purcell  Media luminaries… Deborah Hutton (above left) and of course, Writers… Carrie Choo (Daily Addict blogger), Amy Cooper, Shelly Horton, Charles Rawlings-Way, Sarah Thomas, Margie Seale

I was lucky enough to be charged with such a responsibility, one rain-lashed night in October. My mission: to visit the fabulous Baglioni Hotel, scope out the spa and succumb to an ‘Exotic Ritual’ massage. Never one to say nay to some kneading, I left Smith HQ in high spirits. Sadly, the District line was not in my favour. 30 minutes later, I was dampened in both body and mood - still awaiting my tube, and surrounded by steaming commuters smelling of wet dog and doom.

By the time I arrived at Baglioni Hotel in Kensington, having been stabbed with various brollies, nearly exterminated by several shiny silver cars and soaked by the elements, my mission had become less of a treat and more of a necessity – I was in sore need of some knot-relieving. I slunk into the opulent marble lobby, looking like something the cat had dragged out (of the hotel’s glimmering fountain, by the glittering bar).

The Italian glitz was a little too much for my sodden self, so I made a beeline for the spa. Renata, my masseuse, welcomed me warmly, magicking a drink, a bathrobe, and some slippers seemingly from thin air.

I was under strict instructions to meet Renata in the treatment room, but while in the changing rooms, I spied some naked Aussie girls happily chattering away in the showers. Keen to remove the London grime, I sneakily snuck in. Just as I was in mid-soak, Renata’s face appeared before the steamed-up glass door: ‘You don’t need a shower, your bath is waiting.’

Donning my robe, I followed Renata into a small, womb-like cave of cosiness and calm – a chocolate-brown room, with bamboo on the walls, tea-lights scattered in semi circles on the floor, alongside smooth grey and brown pebbles and expensive-looking lotions. The room’s two star players caught my eye immediately: the promised white, egg-shaped bath, steaming and fragrant with essential oils and Dead Sea salts, and the massage bed, ripe with promise (and towels).

What followed were possibly the most pleasurable two hours of my life thus far (just don’t tell my Mr Smith). Trying to describe a massage is an occasion designed for the expression, ‘You really had to be there’, but just to give you an idea…

I soaked in the bath like a contented concubine for 15 minutes, before drying off for my massage, during which Renata expertly untied my muscular cat’s cradle, giving particular love to my neck and shoulders. Employing a mixture of techniques including stroking, rubbing, pummelling and jabbing, Renata’s fingers (which seemed to have transformed into rotating metal rods) smoothed in various Elemis unguents as I lay back, slack-jawed with pleasure, serenaded by the squawks of seagulls and the lapping of waves (I normally hate those soundtracks, but this one actually was relaxing, although all the watery sounds made me need the toilet).

Having fully exorcised my body of tension, it was time for my facial. Renata settled upon a rose theme for my treatment, using rose oils, rose cleanser, rose exfoliator and a rose mask. Aaah, just thinking about it now makes some of my aches, pain and strain disappear. The only thing that would have topped off the experience? A night in the Royal Suite. Greedy, moi?

Should you be emitting clicking noises every time you turn your head, or be feeling grumpy, or in need of some special pampering, or think, ‘Forget Christmas shopping, I want to treat myself’ – look no further than the Baglioni’s Elemis spa. And, in the name of research, we’ll be sharing some of our other pamper-perfect spa hotels with you soon…

Washed up on the shores of southern Brittany, we found Le Lodge Kerisper, a cosy portside cabin in the sailing centre of La Trinité-sur-Mer. Across in Normandy, we hand-picked La Petite Folie, a laid-back and luxurious guesthouse in historic Honfleur.

We dropped in on Paris as we headed for the warm south, discovering La Réserve along the way – extravagantly elegant serviced apartments with Eiffel views on Place de la Trocadéro.

Down in Provence, La Bastide de Moustiers is Alain Ducasse’s heavenly hilltop hideaway. On the edge of Aix’s old town, we found La Villa Gallici – glorious and golden, it’s set in magnificent cypress-filled grounds.

When we reached the gilded shores of the Côte d’Azur, we were rewarded with Bastide Saint Mathieu, a majestic manor house in fragrant Grasse, and Cap d’Antibes Beach Hotel, a minimalist, modernist Riviera retreat. Star-favoured St Tropez is home to La Réserve Ramatuelle, a spa hotel by the seaside.

We cast an eye Stateside for good measure, keeping up with the latest movements of UK boutique-hotel heroes, Firmdale – allow us to introduce Crosby Street Hotel, its sparkly New York debut.

Next month, we’ll be showing Italy some love with a few finds in Florence and one or two in Orvieto. And Francophiles don’t fear – we’ll be back with a chic chalet in Rhône-Alpes and a remastered water mill in Burgundy.

Style Glossy grey, fully glam
Setting Well-to-do Yorkville

Why this week? Aside from the fact that – as long as you’ve wrapped up nice and toasty – Toronto is enchanting this time of year, there are tons of reasons to hit the Hazelton. Get there before 30 November, and Smith members can claim a chunky 25 per cent off Superior or Deluxe rooms, without missing out on a free bottle of champagne and CA$50 credit in the hotel’s spa. How many more perks and presents do you need?

Our favourite bit We’re especially enamoured with the bathrooms (we’ve already raved about them on our top 10 best hotel bathrooms post last year), which are huge, walled in green granite and stocked with so much Bulgari you could flood the sink with product. Just because we’re sweet for the ensuites doesn’t mean we wouldn’t give the bedrooms their due, however. With gigantic private zebrawood dressing rooms and dining areas, the Hazelton and Avenue Suites are fit for a rock star. Although if you’re a real entourage-brandishing superstar, the Bellaire Suite has additional lounge areas and is kitted out with glassware, cutlery and dishes for guests who have a longer stay in mind.

Mr and Mrs Smith say ‘This stylish superstar-loved Toronto hotel lays the luxury on thick from the get-go. Slink past its sleek limestone exterior into a polished marble lobby – the perfect backdrop for such a glamorous clientele, and setting a tone that you would expect from a Yabu Pushelberg-designed hideaway. The Mark McEwan restaurant, One, is among the city’s finest eateries, on a par in excellence with the acclaimed spa and its beautiful mosaic-tiled swimming pool. As for the spacious bedrooms, they are undoubtedly Toronto’s most chic. Indeed this is a sybarite’s paradise – a world where ensuites are astonishingly sprawling and pillow-top mattresses are clad in 300 thread count linen. So, even if you don’t arrive an A-lister, you’ll leave feeling like one, especially during Toronto Film Festival when the industry’s movers and shakers make this hip hotel their mothership. As tempting as it would be to stay enveloped in such opulence, with Toronto’s leading galleries, boutiques and restaurants on your doorstep, it’s not as painful to prise yourself out of the Hazelton as you might think. Although you’ll soon be lured back to the luxe.’

*Please note, Team Smith in no way condones the actual wearing of snoods. This was a figure of speech.