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Election fever is gripping the capital. Well, by ‘election fever’ we mean ‘a faint awareness of political events’, and by ‘gripping’, we mean ‘inspiring at least two special hotel events in’. Anyway, we’re excited.

First up, the historic, Olga Polizzi-styled Brown’s Hotel in London‘s Mayfair is giving us all an alternative to sitting at home shouting at Jeremy Vine on 6 May, by hosting a special ‘Election Fever’ party in its fabulous Donovan Bar.

We hear rumours of swing-o-meters, ‘sweepstakes smoked salmon’ and special election cocktails (including the Champagne Socialist, Maggie-rita, Libertini, Hung(over) Parliament and Floating Voter), and we’re informed that there will be gigantic screens in both the bar and the English Tea Room so you can admire David Dimbleby’s face in full craggy detail for the duration. Eggs benedict, Brown’s burger trio, Hix-cure smoked salmon and pork crackling with apple sauce will be available so election-viewers can keep their energy levels up during the long night. If you can’t make it until morning, however, the hotel is offering a special deal of £330 for a room, together with the morning papers and a much-needed late check-out at 2pm the next day. If any political animals out there want to get in on the action, contact the Smith24 team on 0845 034 0700, or book the Brown’s Hotel offer online.

Meanwhile, in Marble Arch, the pastry chef at new townhouse hotel The Arch, Thomas Fueher, has been working overtime in the run-up to the polls. He’s invited voters not to judge the party leaders by their policies, but by what they taste like. In eclair form, that is. Tongue firmly positioned in cheek, the enterprising paragon of pastry has created three sets of eclairs to represent the three main party leaders, each of which has been illustrated in edible ink by The Week’s cover caricaturist Steven Lee. Flavour-wise, Gordon Brown’s is getting a bit stale, David Cameron’s looks pretty but doesn’t have much filling, and no one’s got round to trying Nick Clegg’s yet…

We jest. We promise to leave the political satire to the professionals from now on.

Brown comes in two flavours: sun-dried tomato and goat’s cheese or rose with raspberry and champagne. Cameron is pastrified in blue cheese and pear or blueberry and coconut, and Clegg is stuffed with either yellowfin tuna, coriander and chilli or grapefruit and champagne. So, all you have to do is pop along to the hotel’s HUNter 486 bar, sample them all (£3.50 a pop), pick your favourite, and that’s the future of government sorted.

If anyone hears of any other novel ways UK hotels are choosing to mark the election, we, like Andrew Marr, are all ears…

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