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…And by ‘with’ we mean ‘in the same building as’ (unless you’re looking particularly alluring when strolling through Villa Armena‘s atmospheric wine cellar, of course).

This year’s Academy Award nominees – the non-winners, that is – will be sent a gift-bag worth a rumoured $125,000, including a three-night stay at swaggeringly baroque Italian pad Villa Armena in Tuscany. The actual winners have to make do with a paltry Oscar statuette, which is far less fun.

‘And what else goes into those goody bags?’ you wonder. Well, they’re chock-full of tarot readings, mineral hair analysis and laser sex toys:

Villa Armena hotel in Tuscany• $20,000 of car-rental vouchers
• a $250 vibrator that uses lasers to ‘improve the sexual experience for women’
• $20,000-worth of dream analysis and horoscope reading
• a $5,060 home spa system
• $900 of personal training sessions
• an $800 voucher for fancy sweets
• a work of art valued (by the gift-bag company) at $5,000
• a very specific $4,068 worth of non-surgical liposuction (more lasers!)
• a $25,000 piece of customised furniture
• hair mineral analysis, nutritional supplements, meditation training and a “pantry detox” worth $14,239
• a $12,500 voucher for a luxury, gourmet hiking-biking adventure
• a $5,000 ‘O-Shot,’ (something, apparently, to do with injecting blood platelets into your… secret garden, if you’re a Mrs Smith. No word on whether Best Actor nominees can transfer it to a friend, or, indeed, how best to proffer such a gift) 
• a $229 wearable automatic camera
• and a 10,000-meal donation of pet food to the animal shelter of your choice

Phew. It almost makes us want to become wildly successful actors, purely for the Villa Armena stay and the fancy sweeties. And the lasers.

Or, if you fancy a Tuscan hideaway where you’re less likely to be disturbed by the weeping of a non-award-winning movie star, take your pick of all our hotels in Tuscany

 

 

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