The polls are closed, the votes are in (and have been checked by an independent adjudicator), and this week’s elected hotel of choice is Vienna’s parliamentary neighbour, The Levante Parliament…

Style: Streamlined chrome cool
Setting: Oh, Vienna

Why this week? Austria’s opulence seduces with every passing season but this time of year is especially spectacular, because Christmas and all its charms come knocking – and a trip to one of Vienna’s many chocolate-box Christmas markets will have you full of seasonal good will in no time. From the last week of November to Christmas Eve, Vienna breaks into a flurry of festive folly. See the Rathaus (Town Hall) lit up and surrounded by an array of activities certain to enchant the little Smiths, and visit Schönbrunn Palace market to sample more mulled wine, spiced gingerbread and creative crafts than you can shake a stocking at. And if that doesn’t tempt you, combine culture and thrift with Mr and Mrs Smith’s November offer of 2 nights at Levante Parliament hotel for the price of 3.

Our favourite bits The hotel gets its name from the proximity of the Parliament building, but it’s a far cry from the velvet-upholstered fustiness its name might suggest. Romania-born designer Ioan Nemtoi has given the place high-octane impact. Entirely crafted of glass, the Nemtoi bar is a fitting sleek hors d’oeuvre for the restaurant, which features a menu of international delicacies. Delicately spiralling glass tendril screens keep your dining experience private.

Mr and Mrs Smith say ‘The Levante Parliament in Vienna’s Auerspergstrasse is a refreshing design hotel, housed in a building that dates back to 1908. Its lobby and entrance hall are deliberately laid out and lit as a gallery space. Along with the ubiquitous glass sculptures throughout the hotel, there are works by the celebrated Viennese photographer Curt Themessl. All artworks are for sale but, sadly, out of this pair’s price range. The reddish tinges of Nemtoi’s creations add a glow to the hotel’s 74 rooms and suites, which feature furniture of a dark, dense tropical wood from Africa known as wengé. The rooms are warm, welcoming and comfortable, with eiderdowned beds whose wide borders of coral orange add a glow to the soothing combination of browns and beiges in the fitted carpet and drapes. While my lady was luxuriating in the waterfall shower surrounded by highly polished cream Italian marble and a comprehensive stock of designer supplies, I had the opportunity to explore the treasures and pleasures of the minibar’s exotic blends and vintages and to try out the free high-speed Internet. The latter was a handy way to fill in certain gaps in my knowledge of glass sculpture…’

Read full review here

Compiled by Hannah Thompson

Our reviewers for our new guidebook were, as ever, a panel of people we admire and respect, all of whom have impeccable taste, and who we trusted to report back to us on Smith hotels with total honesty. The only thing we asked of them? That they visited each hotel anonymously with a partner and, on their return, gave us the kind of insider lowdown you’d expect from a close friend.

Mr & Mrs Smith Hotel Collection: Australia/New Zealand is out 25 November (£19.95), but you can order an advance copy now.

The rollcall of reviewers includes

Actors… Sigrid Thornton Artists… Helen Bodycomb Chefs… Christine Manfield, Andrew McConnell Designers… Andrew Chiodo, Liane Rossler Editors… Kirstie Clements (Vogue Australia), Angus Fontaine (Time Out, below right), Paul McNally Entrepreneurs… John Carruthers (New venture CEO) Event organisers… David Grant, Olivia Serritelli Foodies… Simon Thomsen Forensic psychologists… Rosemary Purcell  Media luminaries… Deborah Hutton (above left) and of course, Writers… Carrie Choo (Daily Addict blogger), Amy Cooper, Shelly Horton, Charles Rawlings-Way, Sarah Thomas, Margie Seale

It can be tough sometimes, working for boutique travel experts, whose daily tasks include jetting around the world, seeking out glamour-soaked hotels in wow-factor destinations. No really, it can. Especially when said work involves testing out our luxurious hotels’ facilities, just to check they are still as top-notch as ever - the spa for instance, and the muscle-soothing, bliss-inducing hands of its therapists.

I was lucky enough to be charged with such a responsibility, one rain-lashed night in October. My mission: to visit the fabulous Baglioni Hotel, scope out the spa and succumb to an ‘Exotic Ritual’ massage. Never one to say nay to some kneading, I left Smith HQ in high spirits. Sadly, the District line was not in my favour. 30 minutes later, I was dampened in both body and mood - still awaiting my tube, and surrounded by steaming commuters smelling of wet dog and doom.

By the time I arrived at Baglioni Hotel in Kensington, having been stabbed with various brollies, nearly exterminated by several shiny silver cars and soaked by the elements, my mission had become less of a treat and more of a necessity – I was in sore need of some knot-relieving. I slunk into the opulent marble lobby, looking like something the cat had dragged out (of the hotel’s glimmering fountain, by the glittering bar).

The Italian glitz was a little too much for my sodden self, so I made a beeline for the spa. Renata, my masseuse, welcomed me warmly, magicking a drink, a bathrobe, and some slippers seemingly from thin air.

I was under strict instructions to meet Renata in the treatment room, but while in the changing rooms, I spied some naked Aussie girls happily chattering away in the showers. Keen to remove the London grime, I sneakily snuck in. Just as I was in mid-soak, Renata’s face appeared before the steamed-up glass door: ‘You don’t need a shower, your bath is waiting.’

Donning my robe, I followed Renata into a small, womb-like cave of cosiness and calm – a chocolate-brown room, with bamboo on the walls, tea-lights scattered in semi circles on the floor, alongside smooth grey and brown pebbles and expensive-looking lotions. The room’s two star players caught my eye immediately: the promised white, egg-shaped bath, steaming and fragrant with essential oils and Dead Sea salts, and the massage bed, ripe with promise (and towels).

What followed were possibly the most pleasurable two hours of my life thus far (just don’t tell my Mr Smith). Trying to describe a massage is an occasion designed for the expression, ‘You really had to be there’, but just to give you an idea…

I soaked in the bath like a contented concubine for 15 minutes, before drying off for my massage, during which Renata expertly untied my muscular cat’s cradle, giving particular love to my neck and shoulders. Employing a mixture of techniques including stroking, rubbing, pummelling and jabbing, Renata’s fingers (which seemed to have transformed into rotating metal rods) smoothed in various Elemis unguents as I lay back, slack-jawed with pleasure, serenaded by the squawks of seagulls and the lapping of waves (I normally hate those soundtracks, but this one actually was relaxing, although all the watery sounds made me need the toilet).

Having fully exorcised my body of tension, it was time for my facial. Renata settled upon a rose theme for my treatment, using rose oils, rose cleanser, rose exfoliator and a rose mask. Aaah, just thinking about it now makes some of my aches, pain and strain disappear. The only thing that would have topped off the experience? A night in the Royal Suite. Greedy, moi?

Should you be emitting clicking noises every time you turn your head, or be feeling grumpy, or in need of some special pampering, or think, ‘Forget Christmas shopping, I want to treat myself’ – look no further than the Baglioni’s Elemis spa. And, in the name of research, we’ll be sharing some of our other pamper-perfect spa hotels with you soon…

The French may be busy fermenting grapes and bringing out the Beaujolais, but while they’re up to their elbows in viticulture, we’ve brought in a harvest of our own: the cream of France’s boutique-hotel crop…

Washed up on the shores of southern Brittany, we found Le Lodge Kerisper, a cosy portside cabin in the sailing centre of La Trinité-sur-Mer. Across in Normandy, we hand-picked La Petite Folie, a laid-back and luxurious guesthouse in historic Honfleur.

We dropped in on Paris as we headed for the warm south, discovering La Réserve along the way – extravagantly elegant serviced apartments with Eiffel views on Place de la Trocadéro.

Down in Provence, La Bastide de Moustiers is Alain Ducasse’s heavenly hilltop hideaway. On the edge of Aix’s old town, we found La Villa Gallici – glorious and golden, it’s set in magnificent cypress-filled grounds.

When we reached the gilded shores of the Côte d’Azur, we were rewarded with Bastide Saint Mathieu, a majestic manor house in fragrant Grasse, and Cap d’Antibes Beach Hotel, a minimalist, modernist Riviera retreat. Star-favoured St Tropez is home to La Réserve Ramatuelle, a spa hotel by the seaside.

We cast an eye Stateside for good measure, keeping up with the latest movements of UK boutique-hotel heroes, Firmdale – allow us to introduce Crosby Street Hotel, its sparkly New York debut.

Next month, we’ll be showing Italy some love with a few finds in Florence and one or two in Orvieto. And Francophiles don’t fear – we’ll be back with a chic chalet in Rhône-Alpes and a remastered water mill in Burgundy.

This week, we’re donning our snoods* and heading to Canada, home to mountie, moose and maple. Toronto is a  shimmeringly clean city of towering high-rises, and, in winter, has that kind of fresh chilly air that makes you glad to be alive (and wearing a coat). It’s a also a great place to do your Christmas shopping, and certainly beats Oxford Street on, well, any day of the year. As for where to stay while you’re exercising your AmEx, there’s only one option (well, actually there’s two, but we’ll talk about The Drake on another Hotel of the Week). Dress nicely, folks, and try not to gawp too much at The Hazelton Hotel…

Style Glossy grey, fully glam
Setting Well-to-do Yorkville

Why this week? Aside from the fact that – as long as you’ve wrapped up nice and toasty – Toronto is enchanting this time of year, there are tons of reasons to hit the Hazelton. Get there before 30 November, and Smith members can claim a chunky 25 per cent off Superior or Deluxe rooms, without missing out on a free bottle of champagne and CA$50 credit in the hotel’s spa. How many more perks and presents do you need?

Our favourite bit We’re especially enamoured with the bathrooms (we’ve already raved about them on our top 10 best hotel bathrooms post last year), which are huge, walled in green granite and stocked with so much Bulgari you could flood the sink with product. Just because we’re sweet for the ensuites doesn’t mean we wouldn’t give the bedrooms their due, however. With gigantic private zebrawood dressing rooms and dining areas, the Hazelton and Avenue Suites are fit for a rock star. Although if you’re a real entourage-brandishing superstar, the Bellaire Suite has additional lounge areas and is kitted out with glassware, cutlery and dishes for guests who have a longer stay in mind.

Mr and Mrs Smith say ‘This stylish superstar-loved Toronto hotel lays the luxury on thick from the get-go. Slink past its sleek limestone exterior into a polished marble lobby – the perfect backdrop for such a glamorous clientele, and setting a tone that you would expect from a Yabu Pushelberg-designed hideaway. The Mark McEwan restaurant, One, is among the city’s finest eateries, on a par in excellence with the acclaimed spa and its beautiful mosaic-tiled swimming pool. As for the spacious bedrooms, they are undoubtedly Toronto’s most chic. Indeed this is a sybarite’s paradise – a world where ensuites are astonishingly sprawling and pillow-top mattresses are clad in 300 thread count linen. So, even if you don’t arrive an A-lister, you’ll leave feeling like one, especially during Toronto Film Festival when the industry’s movers and shakers make this hip hotel their mothership. As tempting as it would be to stay enveloped in such opulence, with Toronto’s leading galleries, boutiques and restaurants on your doorstep, it’s not as painful to prise yourself out of the Hazelton as you might think. Although you’ll soon be lured back to the luxe.’

*Please note, Team Smith in no way condones the actual wearing of snoods. This was a figure of speech.

Looking for the perfect music to take on your trips? Well, there’s Mr & Mrs Smith’s new In bed with… CD , of course, but you may need some additional inspiration. Here, our very own TuneSmith, DJ Rob Wood,  the brains and ears behind our albums, makes his essential monthly recommendations…

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ALBUM OF THE MONTH

Warm Heart of Africa by The Very Best

When? You want to hear what might just be the future of pop
Why? This is music of truly global proportions

The Very Best’s music is so international it feels like a United Nations of dance-pop. Except their schtick isn’t really dance-pop or any other standard genre at all. They’ve brilliantly crafted a startlingly unique, joyous sound that is as multi-national as the band itself. Hailing from France, Malawi and Sweden, via Clapton in east London, their almost euphoric songs spring out at the listener before at once confusing and dazzling with what could be called an Afro-electro high. Where Vampire Weekend joined West African hi-life to indie rock, and MIA coated dancehall in bhangra, the Very Best take today’s modern pop soundscape and fill it with glorious African zeal. Johan Karlberg and Etienne Tron’s electronic beats fuse so well with Esau Mwamwaya’s Malawian singing, that you can’t help but think this is likely to become a hugely influential record. And rightly so.

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THE SMITH CLASSIC

Isla by Portico Quartet

When? You ain’t got that swing no more
Why? This thoroughly modern jazz outfit have created quite a stir
Being nominated for the 2008 Mercury Music Prize seems to have given Portico Quartet the confidence to take their beguiling minimal, but softly electrifying, post-jazz sound to a bold place where they are the only ones who have dared to turn up. Recorded by John Leckie (who produced the Stone Roses first album), this is a mesmerising collection of tuneful but brave pieces, all hooked around the distinctive, otherworldly qualities of the hang drum. On stage this looks like they are attempting to extract music from a large barbecue, but their ghostly sound is anything but raw or burnt. Exotic wisps of saxophone, gut-felt twangs of double bass, spooky electronics, and the bewitching echo of the trademark drum, all amalgamate into a sound that is very much their own. Right now, there’s simply no one else making jazz sound so contemporary and spellbinding.

Our latest glamorous guidebook Mr & Mrs Smith Hotel Collection: Australia/New Zealand is poised to hit the shelves: and it’s our boldest expression of wanderlust yet. From the lush wet plains of Australia’s Top End, via the iconic beaches and islands of the east coast, right through to the Middle Earth peaks of New Zealand’s South Island, it signposts you to the most stylish stays in Australasia. Here we treat you to a few tempting tasters of some of the off-the-beaten-track destinations featured…

Mr & Mrs Smith Hotel Collection: Australia/New Zealand is officially out 25 November (£19.95), but you can order an advance copy now.

Barossa Valley South Australia Valleys, vines and vales

South Australia has half a dozen world-class wine regions, but the Barossa wins hands down when it comes to cultivating an historic, reverent atmosphere. It has a lot to do with the vaulted sandstone tasting rooms, the old European trees and the valley’s German heritage (play ‘Count the umlauts’ as you drive past winery signs), but it’s also about the grape gravitas: weighty, substantial and brooding. This is no fizzy, fun-in-the-sun frolic. This is serious business. The old-school ‘Barossa Barons’ attract the lion’s share of trade and traffic, but sassy young boutique wineries have also carved out a market niche in recent years.

Bay of Islands North Island, New Zealand Cliffs, coves and clear-blue sea

If you’re an architecture buff, get your kicks for free by taking a gander at some of the area’s old missionary-founded buildings, such as musket fire-scarred Christ Church in Russell, which dates from 1836 and is the country’s oldest church (www.oldchurch.org.nz). We wouldn’t normally advocate hanging out in public toilets, but the one in Kawakawa, at 60 Gillies Street, should be on your to-do list. It was built by famous radical Austrian architect Friedensreich Hundertwasser, who spent the last 20 years of his life in the town from 1975 until 2000.

The Grampians Victoria, Australia Mountains, cliff faces and bushscapes

If the striking physiography of this sandstone mountain range in Victoria doesn’t take your breath away, an on-foot sampling of its mighty trails should. Don’t go home without… walking the Nerve Test. At the end of the Pinnacle Walk is this unsigned lumpy sliver of narrow rock that falls away perilously on each side. Whether you’re testing your machismo or showing off your sure-footed beam-gymnastics, there are no second chances.

Hawkes Bay North Island, New Zealand Forests, fertile plains and wild coasts

This east-coast swathe of the North Island has got it all: a head-turning ocean setting, nostalgic 1920s architecture and a Mediterranean-style microclimate. If the buzzwords in the food world right now are fresh, local and seasonal, Hawkes Bay is well ahead of the times. With fertile land and the perfect climate, just about everything is grown or gathered here: meat, seafood, cheese, honey, olive oil, fruit and vegetables, and even coffee. Sample the end result in the area’s inviting cafés and restaurants, where top-class chefs are blending Asian and European tastes to create appetising Pacific Rim cuisine. Order a local glass of wine to match: names to watch out  for near Havelock North and Cape Kidnappers include Craggy Range winery (www.craggyrange.com) and Te Mata estate winery (www.temata.co.nz).

Kangaroo Island South Australia Wild times (big nature as opposed to big nights out)

Touting itself as ‘Australia’s Galapagos’, Kangaroo Island (KI) has an amazing proliferation of wildlife – in the sky, the scrub and the sea. Located 13km off South Australia’s coast, it’s the country’s third biggest island – so there’s plenty of space for the fauna to do its thing without the 4,250 islanders getting in the way.  Ideal for sampling one of the six Ss: swimming, surfing, sandboarding, snorkelling, sailing or scuba diving.

Launceston Tasmania Historic Tamar-hugging town

Lush and leafy, Launceston wears its colonial history with puffed-up civic pride. Indeed, with graceful Georgian estates peppering its West Country farmland surrounds, this is as Jane Austen as Australia gets. In October, the Royal Launceston Show (www.launcestonshowground.com.au) brings the district’s loveliest livestock and oversize veggies to town. Don’t miss the auxiliary Tasmanian Whipcracking Championship.

Margaret River Western Australia Coastlines, cabernets and culture

If Margaret River didn’t exist, someone with an active imagination would have made it up. Just three hours south of Perth, the region mingles natural beauty with phenomenal dining and more than 120 wineries that produce a quarter of Australia’s best bottles. The Mediterranean climate makes the Margaret River an ideal destination year-round. In summer, temperatures rarely creep above 32°C and in winter average around 18°C during the day, although it can be a touch chilly at night.

Ningaloo Reef Queensland Dune-backed beaches and reef-fringed sea

The tourist hordes may head for Queensland’s Great Barrier Reef, but those in the know are talking up this remote yet ravishing reef off the coast of Western Australia where you can swim among rainbow fish and psychedelic coral just metres from shore. Whale sharks are the big attraction, drawn by the coral spawning to chow down along Ningaloo’s coastline. These slow-moving beasties may seem intimidating because of their size: they can grow up to 12 metres in length and weigh about 18 tonnes, plus they have a huge mouth, around 1.5 metres wide. Like whales though, they’re actually harmless filter feeders who eat plankton, algae and krill – but not humans. In fact, they’re happy for you to swim alongside. The whale sharks may be headline news here, but the coral is pretty amazing too, with over 200 species of fantastically formed hard coral which spawn in sync during March and April (hermaphroditic branches ejecting eggs and sperm into the water). You don’t see that every day.

Southern Forests Western Australia Towering trees, trekking and truffle hunting

The black truffle rules here, and when it’s in season you’ll find menus dominated by the expensive little fungus, including scrambled eggs, truffled salt and pepper squid, and even pannacotta with truffle. The region loves it so much that out of season you’ll find dishes using truffle honey, truffle butter, truffle oil and so on. Other players in these parts are trout and marron, a large freshwater crayfish and a delicacy only found in this corner of Australia. This is also one of Oz’s premier cool-climate wine regions, producing grape varieties such as merlot, sauvignon blanc, chardonnay and shiraz. Black truffles (also known as black diamonds or black gold because of their rarity and value) are grown here in the largest trufferie in the southern hemisphere. From June to August these highly regarded black fungi are sniffed out by dogs, rather than the usual pigs, so that oinkers like us can devour them at restaurants across Australia. Delicious.

Top End Northern Territory Wetlands and wildlife

Tropical weather, rich indigenous culture and national parks are headline acts in themselves, but add to this territory’s impressive cast: brilliant sunsets, world-class fishing and a colourful calendar of outdoor events and you have a taste of this northernmost point. At a whopping 200,000 square kilometres, World Heritage-listed Kakadu National Park is the largest in Australia. Famed for its natural and cultural wonders, it’s not just home to several Aboriginal rock-art sites and plenty of saltwater crocs. No sir. Grab your lizard-skin waistcoat and doff your tooth-trimmed cowboy hat to Mick Dundee. Indeed Crocodile Dundee was based on a real-life hunter from Top End.

Wairarapa North Island Hillside villages, vine-lined plains

Wind through the jaggedy, treeless Rimutaka Range and the two-hour drive from Wellington may feel like more of an adventure than you bargained for; but grip the steering wheel and descend into benevolent villages and vineyards that provide weekend-away gold. Summer in the Wairarapa (December to February) is a beautiful time, with hot, clear days and long, still evenings – but this is also when New Zealanders are on holidays, so things can get a bit hectic. A better bet is to visit during autumn (March to April) when the grapes are being harvested, the kids are back at school and days resonate with post-summer nostalgia.

If that doesn’t help you work up an appetite for Australia and New Zealand… nothing will!

Today, Mr & Mrs Smith have nipped to the Netherlands to bring you our latest hotel of the week – a one-time party pad beside one of Amsterdam’s major canals. The current owners bought the building lock, stock and barrel from the old inhabitants, and have left the mightily be-tomed library, picture-lined walls and assorted family memorabilia largely untouched, so guests feel like they’re bedding down in a private home – albeit one with rooms named after a Who’s Who of high culture:  Schubert, Shakespeare, Goethe, Picasso and Tolkien all appear on boudoir doors. Welcome to Hotel Seven One Seven – an address you’re unlikely to forget…

Style Lavish, lived-in eccentricity

Setting Buzzy waterside

Why this week? Amsterdam looks her best in autumn when the canals shimmer in the dusky light and her red and ochre leaves burn brightly against the stone of the town-houses. But that’s not the only reason to make a visit to this secret hideaway of a hotel. For Smith members booking a long weekend in one of the Junior suites before 30 December, the third night is free. Lounge with Liszt, take time out with Tolkien, or snooze in the Shakespeare suite for three nights, at €960 including breakfast, minibar drinks, house wine and taxes.

Our favourite bit Hotel Seven One Seven flies in the face of minimalism. All the rooms are imaginatively decorated and thoughtfully and copiously furnished: none would disappoint. If you’re forcing us to pick, our favourite is the Tolkien Suite for its hold-me-close romanticism; but each suite has its own individual touches: a candle-lit music stand is placed serenely in the Liszt suite and a framed sonnet catches the eye in the Shakespeare. The hotel’s breakfast is, as you’d expect in this exuberant place, a thing to behold and, with a free minibar, champagne at breakfast might prove too much to resist. They also offer afternoon tea with more pastries than you can shake a brioche at and, although Seven One Seven doesn’t have a restaurant, you can still opt to eat in your room thanks to an arrangement with nearby restaurant Mashua. If there are any stresses or aches still lingering, summon one of the hotel’s team of Ken Tui masseurs to help rub away your cares.

Mr and Mrs Smith say ‘Hotel Seven One Seven is a very attractive old canalhouse, with no obvious ‘hotel’ entrance or big declaration: just a brass bell by the Amsterdam-green door. It feels like home. It looks like a home, too, which isn’t too surprising, since it was a private dwelling until the owners moved out and paying guests moved in. What began as a weekend-party place turned into a business; since then, it has changed hands; its current owners fell in love with it in 1997.

On arrival, we were met with comfort and atmosphere. We were given the Shakespeare Suite, which had the same warm, anti-minimalist decor as the rest of the property, and a quirky combination of contents: huge Victorian brass bed, rich throws, suiting material for curtains, an unusual parquet-topped sideboard, and family memorabilia giving it a lived-in, personal appeal. We concluded that those weekenders who got to hang out here before it became a business were very lucky people.’

Read the full review here

Compiled by Lizzie Davis

LEWES BONFIRE

Date 5 November

Place Lewes, East Sussex

Style Pyro pandemonium

Setting Not-so-sleepy Sussex streets

Indulge your pagan and your pyromaniac urges with the UK’s greatest bonfire bacchanale.

Event Highlight The Bonfire Societies signal the start of the processions by racing barrels of burning tar down the High Street at 6.30pm, after which the whole town seems to parade past in a variety of outlandish outfits. Guy Fawkes gets his comeuppance from around 22h, when bonfires, effigies and several tons of fireworks go up in smoke at five separate fire sites.

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IN THE KNOW

Head count Around 60,000 pairs of eardrums attend the event each year; most will still be ringing the next.

Packing tips Despite the efforts of the local firestarters, you’ll still need warm clothes. It can be cold, damp, smoky and windy, and there will be sparks flying, so wear something you don’t mind getting singed or smoked. (Shell suits not advisable.)

Bar chat The Lewes folk are very proud of their locally brewed beverage, Harveys bitter; when a landlord stopped serving it, one of the Bonfire Societies burnt an effigy of him next to Guy Fawkes.

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DOS & DON’TS

• Make sure you have enough cash on you – getting to an ATM is an epic and often fruitless challenge.
• Don’t bring children or pets, and don’t set off your own fireworks (unless you want to get arrested).
• Wear appropriate shoes; the fire sites can be muddy.
• Don’t try to get involved in the procession. A magistrate who interfered in 1847 got thrown in the River Ouse; these days, they throw in a burning barrel as a reminder.
• A lot of the pubs will be closed to all but long-term regulars: bring a hip flask of firewater to help combat the nippy night air.
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NEED TO KNOW

Getting there By car, take the M23 to Brighton and then the A27 to Lewes; bear in mind that roads in and out of Lewes are closed to traffic on the night. There are regular direct trains from London Victoria and London Bridge to Lewes. At the end of the event, trains ferry the thousands of visitors to Brighton, eight miles away; the queue is long and the trains very crowded.

Children Smaller children may well find the Lewes experience a bit overwhelming. You are strongly advised not to bring under-11s, especially those in pushchairs, who are at greater risk from stray fireworks.

Parking The centre of Lewes is closed to traffic from 5pm onwards (sometimes earlier). This signals the start of a total parking free-for-all on the roads into town. You’ll have to be early, lucky or blocking someone’s driveway if you want to save yourself a walk of about 10 minutes.

Food & Drink Although many of the pubs on the procession route are very crowded, closed or only open to invited guests, there are still plenty to choose from. The Harveys brewery down by the River Ouse is the location of a very popular hog roast.

Sleep Your best bet is Brighton, eight miles away: try the stylish Square or Drakes on the seafront in trendy Kemptown, or the decadent Blanch House on Atlingworth Street. For full details and more regional hotel listings, or to make a booking, go to www.mrandmrssmith.com, or ring 0845 034 0701.

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Our latest glamorous guidebook Mr & Mrs Smith Hotel Collection: Australia/New Zealand is poised to hit the shops: it is officially out 25 November (£19.95), but you can order an advance copy now.

As you know, romantic and stylish is our shtick – and finally we’ve officially spread the love to the southern hemisphere. Barefoot-luxury lodges, hip historical homesteads and minimalist designer dens are some of the 33 dream escapes awaiting boutique-hotel lovers.

Why Australasia?

‘We had the challenging task of seeking out the most charismatic and stylish boutique hotels in this rich, varied and vast continent, for the many Mr & Mrs Smiths now scattered around the world.’

– Simon Westcott, co-founder of our Asia Pacific Mr & Mrs Smith team.

‘We wanted to cater to highly informed locals looking for a different kind of getaway as well as international visitors who’d like to see the very best of Australia and New Zealand.

‘Our books take the guesswork out of booking somewhere best in class. We think what Mr & Mrs Smith does better than any other travel guide in the world is identify the wow-factor – that boutique-travel something special – a take-your-breath away location, incredible food and wine, unique spa treatments or simply the old-world charm of a remote and beautifully restored homestead.’

So, follow in our reviewers’ footsteps, and…

Taste pigeon and white chocolate in one mouthful at the Royal Mail’s world-class restaurant in the Grampians

Spy dolphins and whales from super-hip Southern Ocean Lodge on Kangaroo Island

Sign up for a ‘happy ending massage’* at Pretty Beach House on NSW’s Central Coast

There are close to 60 hotels and self-catering properties in Australia and New Zealand in the full online Smith collection, and 650 around the world. Book a hotel almost round-the-clock through the Smith Travel Team on 0845 034 0700.

*Not like that. Really.